From Kevin

'Create art, practice yoga, express love'

Sweet music to a teacher's ears

'It makes so much sense when you explain it.'

-Wilmer, undergraduate student

Farm Girls

Tiffany wrote a terrific post about our day at Bigg Riggs Farm - check out the link below. She has really gotten into the local food scene and has a fantastic blog about her adventures in shopping and cooking with local foods (and to think that when we first lived together she went to McDonalds and didn't recycle!) (Just had to throw that in, Tiff :). Stay tuned, a guest piece by moi has been in the works for sometime. Oh, and she forgot to mention that we ended the day at a local diner in Somewhere, W. VA. with hush puppies (for her), a baked potato (for me) and two slices of yummy homemade pie.

I also got carried away by the sight of all the fresh produce and bought about 20 lbs of peaches for a price so low I wasn't sure I'd been clear that I wanted the biggest bag of fruit. So many peaches that on my metro ride home a stray peach toppled out from the top of the bag and started rolling around under the seats. Oops. Luckily I ran into one of my yoga friends as I was exiting the metro and he helped me carry my bags of treasures home.

http://virginiafoodie.typepad.com/

Tell It Like It Is

What a week. So emotional, and I've found it challenging to stay balanced. Class went a lot better though. My aunt 'tell-it-like-it-is' Liz encouraged me to immediately address with the class what had gone wrong last week. My initial reaction was along the lines of 'That's the last thing I want to bring up again.' But I did - at the beginning of class on Monday I told them it was great they asked so many questions, but we were falling behind and I had not explained things as clearly as I would have liked. So I asked them to please limit their in-class questions to ones that were directly relevant to the lecture so that I could ensure we covered all of the material that we needed to. They responded very well and class went smoothly the rest of the week.

In fact, one of my students felt so comfortable that he asked me out for a drink. For a split-second the thought of taking refuge from the ups-and-downs of the week in the arms of a tall, dark, muscular Colombian sounded quite appealing. Only for a split-second.

Today my former roommate Tiffany and I spent the day at a farm in West Virginia. It was beautiful and a lot of fun and a great way to start off the weekend. She took lots of pictures so I'll post those and write about it soon.

Tragic News

I received some very sad news this morning. One of my friends and anthropology mentors from ASU died in a motorcycle accident yesterday. He was on his way to work and collided with a truck, killing him instantly. He was a gentle, thoughtful, considerate, and caring human being known for his integrity and work ethic. He was also a brilliant young scientist who made many significant research contributions to our discipline. In addition to the personal tragedy of his death, science has suffered a huge blow with the loss of this exceptional human being.

Teaching - Take Two

My heart has been racing this evening at the thought of going back to the classroom tomorrow. I called some fellow teacher-friends to get some advice on regaining confidence after a failed teaching experience, and was just looking at my face in the mirror as I was getting ready for bed and thought of the following: 'Courage is not the absence of fear, it is doing what you are afraid to do.'

There's no question that I'm learning.....I guess that's what these experiences are for.

I had a lovely weekend - my grandmother and aunt Steph came to visit, and we had a great time relaxing, reading newspapers, eating, and visiting the monuments. It was really nice to have company in my apartment and spend some time with family, especially after the week I had. Because family loves you and thinks you're great no matter what you do :)

Let It Go: Advice from a Leo

I taught the worst class of my entire life yesterday. And have I mentioned that the class is two hours long? I won't go into detail, but I arrived already feeling flustered and it went downhill from there. I was really upset and frustrated and angry with myself when I left, and when I found myself laying in bed still thinking about it at 1am I called a friend on the west coast to vent and get it off my chest. His advice:

'It sounds like you need to let it go.'

Me: Uh, yeah. But how?

'Put it in perspective. It's a few hours in one day of one class in one year that's just one part of grad school.'

Me: Hmmm...

'And when they ask questions that go beyond the basic knowledge you have of material that's outside of your field, it's perfectly reasonable to say 'That's an excellent question that's beyond the scope of this class' or 'I'd like to know the answer to that too - can anyone look into that and report back to the class?' And if they ask you questions that you should be able to answer it indicates you're not as prepared as you need to be and so you should work on that.'

Me: But I feel like a bad teacher and that as college students paying for this class, they deserve better. I'm dreading going back on Monday

'You're what they've got. And Monday is a fresh start.'

Me: This makes a lot of sense. I don't feel like it's such a big deal anymore. Thanks, I think I can fall asleep now.

It's so interesting to see how people can have different reactions to/perspectives on the same event depending on their personality and general outlook. I'm especially intrigued by this after my astrology reading earlier this week - my friend is a Leo, a sign that exudes confidence as naturally as the rest of us breathe. I'm a Cancer with Virgo rising, the two biggest worriers and self-critics of the zodiac (anyone surprised?) More thoughts on this to come.

Wikipedia, my new best friend

On Monday I started teaching a new class - same subject matter but a new group of students. Very different from the first group. There are almost twice as many, mostly males (which, though the feminist in me hates to admit, generally leads to more questions, discussion and opinions), and they seem more motivated and interested in learning purely for the sake of knowledge. They're keeping me on my toes, to say the least. I've already been caught off guard many times (e.g., How long [in real time] does it take for a cell to divide? Do the different processes of cell division happen at different rates? How did different chromosome numbers between species evolve?) - all excellent questions I would love to know the answers to. So I've started going over my powerpoint slides in minute detail before every class, googling every single question I can think of that the students might ask.

A New Earth...Yes, please

I'm currently re-reading 'A New Earth' (recommended by Oprah and my dad), which I'm finding to be a very powerful book. Especially powerful considering how easy it is to read it, absorb and be awed by the lessons, carry a fresh outlook into your daily life, and promptly forget what you've learned until you find yourself drawn to the book again.

'The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek'

As a birthday present I decided to see an astrologer, which is something that has always intrigued me. Several friends have seen this particular woman and have raved about her insight. She has this quote by Joseph Campbell as her signature, which is making me look forward to my appointment even more.....I'm excited to see what I will learn.

Smile in Your Liver

Sometimes my meditation practice can seem rather heavy, so this morning I followed the advice of the Balinese medicine man from EPL:

'To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver.'

Birthday Bliss

The past few days have been a wonderful celebration. I was going to have a low-key year but my extraordinary friends had other plans, so it's turning into a birthday week. Sunday evening some French friends cooked a delicious meal that included two bottles of champaign and a menu that I could write an entire post about. The day itself was filled with more friends and vegan cupcakes to boot. I truly received the best presents that can be given - phone calls and emails and hugs and kisses from friends near and far, blessings of abundant love, caring, friendships, and amazing souls in my life.

Action Shots

A photographer came to my class last week to take pictures for the university - here's the link if you'd like to see me in action.

http://kevinallenphoto2.com/anthropology

Done!!!

I just submitted the final grades for my anthropology class. Off to go celebrate at the garden.

City Life, Country Mind

I'm feeling rejuvenated from my weekend in the country -- was at a house atop a hill overlooking a valley near Franklin, W. Va. It was beautiful and quiet and still and peaceful and I was in the company of good people. Went on some hikes, did some yoga, listened to Neil Young, but mostly let myself be enveloped by the stillness, vastness and openness of the surrounding valleys, fields and trees. Also started reading 'A New Earth' while sitting on a sunny rock in the middle of the forest, which was ridiculously perfect. Pics to come soon.

Kids these days

A student (Travis) sent me this email today:

Thanks for the help, I put the lab in your mailbox yesterday, see ya monday!
--travholla

Fine, polite, whatever. But can you imagine talking to one of your college professors so informally?? Many students send me emails with words spelled 'gotta, gonna' and that start out with 'Hey Catherine, what's up?'. Perhaps I'm an old fuddy-duddy, but it always surprises me when they write like this. Is it a generational thing - are younger people going to address their supervisors, bosses, like this too?

If I had more self-confidence, I would....

About a year ago I came across the idea of asking yourself this question when you're struggling or going through a rough time...and I have to say that EVERY SINGLE TIME my answer (the first one that comes to mind) has been exactly what I need to do. I don't always listen that closely and it can take time to actually do it, but the answer has always been spot on. And sometimes the answer is 'Nothing' when I'm happy and content and engaged with my life. It's an interesting exercise, one that I've found forces you to be honest with yourself (especially when you don't want to).

Ask and you shall receive

I'm completely burned out after a pretty challenging week, and last night I was thinking about how nice it will be to have this weekend to relax and renew...and was promptly asked if I was interested in a trip to a house in West Virginia with 'an indoor pool and hot tub and an amazing yoga studio.' This could not have come at a better time :)

'Be willing to die, so that you might live'

I read this line in a poem by Goethe a few days ago and it has really refreshed my perspective on change. Letting go is a form of death, but it allows for rebirth as well. This comes up in the garden all the time - pulling up plants that are nearing their end in order to sew seeds that will lead to new life. All very poignant for me right now as I struggle to loosen many attachments in my life.

Deep Breath

I had a student say something rather rude to me after class today regarding a quiz that I had just handed back. I stood there for a while in shock, and was strongly tempted to stop by ABP for a brownie and vanilla latte to make myself feel better. But I calmly walked back to my office, talked with one of my professors to get it off my chest, and am back at my desk ready to prepare my lesson for tomorrow. Though part of my ego is shrieking 'Those little f@%&*s, I don't want to spend the afternoon working for them", my inner voice is repeating the mantra "My job is to teach the students, not to have them like me" (see the very first post of this blog).