Teacher learns a lesson

Today was my last day of teaching a summer session college course - yea! I've enjoyed it but it's been a ton of work. I'll miss the students (they were really a great group) but I'm glad to have more of my time back.

I saw my class evaluations at the end of the day and was surprised that some were pretty negative. Two I was expecting from some disgruntled students - one who is a senior majoring in cultural anth but had a hard time getting excited about my class. She did pretty poorly on her quizzes and assignments, and on her evaluation said that the class was like a 7th grade science class where I had the students memorize lots of useless information and that my lectures were boring. Another student put in the minimum amount of effort into his assignments, and when I graded him accordingly he accused me one day after class of grading arbitrarily, even though I had provided the students with a grading rubric on the first day of class. On his eval he said that I graded unfairly and that he never knew what grade he was going to get on his assignments because I wasn't consistent in my grading.

A few negative reviews that I wasn't expecting came from students who seemed to like me a lot and who I bent over backwards to help (after teaching these kids for six weeks, I've learned to recognize their handwriting, and some of them I had let make up labs, turn in assignments late, take quizzes a day late, etc). A few said that I was disorganized and unprepared and inexperienced and boring and that the class should have been taught by a professor instead of a graduate student.

Most of my reviews were great but it is these negative ones that stick in my mind. I put in a lot of effort into making my lectures and assignments fun and interesting, and I'm left with the feeling that the students didn't even care. Why is it that I'm focused on these negative responses, instead of the majority of evals that were quite positive? I guess I expected to get glowing reviews from everyone, about how I was the best teacher, how I had made class so enjoyable and interesting. Why did I want everyone to like me so much? Why was I so attached to the idea of glowing evaluations that would confirm what a great teacher I think I am?

As I was muddling through this disappointment, a few thoughts came to mind. First, my responsibility as a teacher is to make sure that students learn from me, not that they like me. I need to accept that responsibility as a teacher and feel comfortable with it. I shouldn't put effort into a situation for the sole purpose of making others like me. And in fact, that's not what happened - I put in a lot of effort into my class lectures because I was preparing them the best way that I knew how, and in the most effective teaching style that I could think of, not because I wanted the students to be my friends. Second, I can't let outside perspectives influence how I feel about my worth - if I'm looking for external sources to reinforce my confidence, how I feel about myself, etc. then I am going to be disappointed again and again. Third, I shouldn't take it personally...I can take these comments into consideration as constructive criticism for when I teach again.

Fourth...it was a long, tiring summer session, especially since I was working at NG during the day. And my first time teaching a college course. Overall very successful, but I'm glad to have my weeknights back.